The plate finals evening is an occasion that every single side in the tournament is looking to avoid, and needless to say attendances are worse than a Serie A match. Some say that the lack of popularity is down to the scheduling clash with the Grand Final, but it is likely to be something to do with the dire golf that has been produced up to this point by the sides on show. Those in attendance could have been there as much to witness the final knockings of sides like Golfy McClubface who have endured a troublesome couple of months.
Playing noticeably faster and clearly keen to get the ignominy of the 3rd/4th place contest over with were WK J Choi and Who Needs James Godwin?, who ironically have come to realise that they desperately need James Godwin.
Unsurprisingly, this game started in lacklustre fashion with the early holes being halved with a series of pars. The level elevated on the 15th as a Benson-inspired Godwin produced the game’s first birdie to take the lead. No team likes to be known as the worst side in the league, and the imminent dubbing of said title clearly kicked Choi into action as they bounced straight back with an unexpected eagle.
The game remained evenly poised, in the main due to a moment that will go down in Team League folklore as Alli holed the longest putt in Team League history – a 100 foot gobbler for a half. Moments later, his side had the opportunity to steal the match with the final putt of the season. With 18 feet between himself and glory (a little bit anyway), Choi’s latest recruit smashed the putt right through the break and quite frankly nowhere near the hole. The resulting half was a fair result and one which neither side was determined to break as they both refused a playoff.
In the bigger of the two games I Like Big Putts took on the beleaguered Golfy McClubface for pride. The build-up to the game was shrouded in anxiety for Andrew Slowgier as he ramped up the search for his beloved Sloth, who had been abducted as he left the final green last week. Fortunately, he was safely returned on the eve of this fixture.
Putts came onto the first tee like caged tigers, unleashing a monster 310 yard drive up the first. The simplest of birdies was matched by a gritty birdie from the old boys. After such a high octane opening the expectation was that this would be a thrilling contest to round off the season.
The surprise birdie from McClubface seemed to knock all of the stuffing out of Putts and the game pretty much went away from them straight away. McClubface were able to reel off a few birdies as Putts found themselves scrambling around in bunkers and deep bund. Slowgier appeared to have returned to his familiar state as his effortless trash talking and mind-numbingly slow play ground down the opposition surely and steadily.
Putts managed to extend the contest to the 17th hole, but it was Slowgier and his teammates who seemed content once again and mildly optimistic that they will once again be able to scale the heights. The fear is that the game has moved on, and they will have to adapt quickly if they wish to push The Beamers and The A-Team.