Beamers stunned as procession is halted by Arnie’s Army


Much like the English Premiership, this is the league consistently voted as The World’s Most Entertaining League™, due to the incredible levels of commitment to fun, beer and occasionally good golf. The title this season had prematurely been pronounced as The Beamers to lose, by some of the less knowledgeable among the press – clearly having not done their homework on the other fine teams on display.

One of those fine teams being Shank Or Be Shanked who took on The Beer Merchants in a perfect storm of beer appreciation and top class banter. Having introduced pre-drinks drinks into their pre-game preparations, the likes of “Handsome Stu”, “The Quiet One” and “The Iceman” were absolutely buzzing for this fixture. With the “Quiet One” holding court behind the sim, the atmosphere was superb throughout with the majority of talk focussing on Craft Ale and Handsome Stu’s good looks.

The game was a great advert of the Team League as the contest captivated the appreciative galleries. Coming down the stretch, and having overcome a few balance issues, The Shankers steadied themselves to reel off a couple of late birdies to claim the victory which ended with hugging between members of both sides and the promise of plenty more boozy Mondays ahead.

Having made a successful debut last week Bruin the Hole looked to continue the trend against fellow newbies Sally Gunnells’ Soldiers. The match got off to a flyer as both teams birdied the first and continued along a similar trend. Gunnell’s claimed the lead after holing an unlikely 50 footer on the 12th green but this was erased by a Seve-esque birdie from the trees on the next hole by Bruin.

This game could genuinely have gone either way and it was perhaps a shame that one team ended up taking all the spoils. That team was Bruin, who clinched the victory with some mesmerising wedge-play that produced the match-winning birdie to break the entertaining deadlock. While Bruin the Hole will be ecstatic with their second victory, Sally Gunnell was left to trawl through the debris to understand how they have ended up rooted to the table after two weeks of fine play.

In the final match of the evening The Beamers arrived as usual, wearing their matching shirts, performed some x-rated stretching on the putting green and spouted the benefits  of playing barefoot as they flicked off their flip-flops before taking on Arnie’s Army. This game is likely to be aired on Sky Sports Classics in years to come as it really was a humdinger. The sides traded early birdies before The Beamers took things to another level with an eagle on the 15th.

Arnie responded well with a fine wedge shot into the next green to once again forge ahead. The game inevitably went to the final green and saw The Beamers require a putt from 45 feet to avoid a shock defeat. All 3 players hit great putts to within a foot of the hole, but none decided to drop, handing the game to Arnie’s Army amid scenes of disbelief at the result. Of course The Beamers will be back, but what seemed like an inevitable league title for them will now be a rocky road to redemption if indeed they do prevail.


Competitions: UG Team League, UG Team League Smithfield